The duality of feelings

Or to give it its full name "Springett's Rule of the Duality of Feelings"

In the simplest of terms it means "If I feel this way about you, then you feel this way about me"

The feeling that I'm referring to is not an artificially induced facade, it is not animal attraction, it is that one-on-one connection or lack of it that appears spontaneously when you first meet someone and developes either way during those first few minutes.

So, if you think "OMG, he's such an idiot!" Guess what? He's put you in the same category. If you think "Wow, now there's a really warm, genuine person" Guess what? To them you've also come across as warm and genuine.

So how can this help you in your daily (and especially personal) interactions? Well, if you do meet someone that you particularly like (like, not lust after), then according to my rule, they will like you equally, so go ahead and persue the relationship (if that's what you want), you will not be rebuffed. But if you don't like them, or only lust after them, back off - you'll make a fool of yourself!

Of course, there are people out there who manipulate this rule. At the top of their game, they're called Con Artists, or Confidence Tricksters. They're so good at projecting a facade of how much they like you that duality of feelings kicks in and you're sunk.

That's the negative side, but on the positive side, there are those who genuinely like most people that they meet (I'm one of them) and that has a very positive effect on their lives and the lives of others. This is a skill that can be developed (not an artificial facade, but a genuine liking). How? You have to start by loving yourself

Should you wish to make an appointment, please feel free to visit Derek's diary and book a time that suits you.

 

Memberships

South African Institute of Chartered Accountants. Designation CA(SA)  Internationally Accredited Financial MediatorsIndependent Regulatory Board for Auditors. Designation RA<Engineering Council of South Africa. Designation Pr(Eng) Member of MENSA, the High IQ Society

 

 

 

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